All That We Love Deeply Becomes a Part of Us

In my years of nursing and lawyering, I have come to learn a great deal about the dying process, the grieving process and the many ways that we work through these difficult experiences.  More importantly, I have come to learn more about the spiritual dimension that is equal to none.  To endure the loss of a loved one, while still retaining and celebrating their precious memories - their favorite items like ties, sports jackets, work shirts and bandannas - is a passage that is so very important for all of us. 

In 2012, for example, I had the chance to help my friend to get ready for the holidays after the loss of her husband earlier in the year.  We assembled all of her husband’s silk ties and I created pillows for his sister, two children, six grandchildren and his surviving father.  My friend shared these memorable creations with her family that Christmas and I think we all felt a bit better as a result of this heartfelt gift-giving experience. 

A few years later, my neighbor lost her father to cancer.  One day, after returning from her father's Florida home with some of his favorite clothing items, she showed me the tartan plaid sports jacket that had been custom designed for him overseas, years ago, during his military years.  I told her the story about the silk tie pillows and from there, she made a list of  her family members and I used the wool fabric to make small handbags for the "girls" and fabric-covered mattes to fit the 8x10 framed photographs of her father for the "guys."  Once again, my heart was full after completing this meaningful work for my neighbor. 

The universe came calling, yet again, two years ago when I least expected it.  My friend called with a request.  “Any chance you make Christmas stockings?  My dear neighbor lost her husband to cancer a few months ago and her eight children want to start a new tradition of Christmas stockings this year in their dad’s honor.”  There was only one answer.  Yes.  I learned the names and ages of each of the children and began to transform all types of fabrics, holiday ornaments and trims into holiday stockings, each one its own unique personality.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the room when my friend presented the stockings to her dear neighbor just before Christmas.  Later that year, I took on another project to help the neighbor to create pillows for each of the eight children, made from their father’s brightly colored bandanas and work shirts, all of which are sprinkled throughout their family home today, in his honor. 

Helen Keller says its best.  " What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose.  All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."  For that, it remains my goal to "show up" and use my creative spirit, whenever asked, to help others retain and celebrate the many precious memories of their loved ones, for years to come.   

Mistakes

          In my professional life, I have experienced many actions (and inactions) over the years that  represent a mistake or an error.  As a nurse, I understood the gravity of a medication error.  As an attorney, I came to know the importance of the many legal, regulatory, ethical and professional requirements that contributed to high quality and safe health care.  Even in my personal life today, I still hear my dad say “read the damn instructions if you want to get it right” as I encounter yet another complexity in my world. 

            Yes, mistakes can be trouble, but they can also be incredible teachers, life lessons that make us better persons.  Here’s are two of my memorable examples. 

·      Mistaking an ingredient or a step from a recipe may be a kitchen breakthrough.  Case in point.  My  South Carolina shrimp and grits recipe remains one of the best ever today because I accidentally added double the andouille sausage to the pot in 1995 when we were celebrating Elliott’s 10^th birthday with friends. 

·      Turning on the light at the wrong time may be a darkroom breakthrough.  Case in point. I learned how to create an incredible solarization of an otherwise normal,  black and white photograph, taken of Carla Bley during a 1976 jazz concert that remains one of my favorites today. 

            In my healthcare design work, I have come to appreciate the value of “design thinking” which celebrates acts (and inactions) that allow us to fail early and often, in order to get a better result.  In my Wabi Creations work, in particular, I am the first to know when it’s time to send a prototype, or even a “third time’s a charm” work to the trash, even if it almost finished. 

            I do recall one Wabi Creations work that came out differently. 

            My law partner had a friend.  The friend was a mother to a beautiful daughter who was soon to be married.  The mother had a beautiful silk wedding dress from years ago that celebrated what seemed to be “millions” of little silk-fabric covered buttons down the back of the dress.  The mother asked me to make a handbag from the wedding dress fabric and buttons that her daughter could carry during the wedding celebration. 

            It took nerve for me to begin cutting the silk fabric, and to remove the silk-fabric buttons from the dress.  I was a wreck, but slowly I became clear in my resolve to design and assemble a beautiful handbag, the exterior of which would be “smocked” with a large number of the silk-covered buttons.  I was close to completing the handbag’s exterior and I had moved onto assembling the interior silk lining and pocket. 

            The wedding was now only a few days away so I needed to remain steady in my resolve.  Unfortunately, as I was hand-stitching the final interior seam, I suddenly noticed two tiny little blemishes in the silk fabric that were not present a moment ago.  The blemishes were red, they were blood stains, they were the end of the handbag, to be sure.  I screamed, I stomped the floor, and I flailed about the room in agony.  What was I to do now, at this late date, to get this important work right? 

            Today, I look back and smile as I remember that steady moment of resolve when I slowly opened my sewing box – today’s it is called my "parts department" – and I sifted and sorted through the many items in the box, hoping to find some miracle that might right this serious wrong.  Much to my delight, I uncovered a 2x3 paper card with two little red iron-on hearts attached that remained from a purchase I made at Joann’s years ago as part of some Valentine’s Day project.   I swiftly removed the two little red hearts and began to carefully adhere them to the silk fabric, completely covering the two little red blemishes to my wildest amazement. 

            Neither my law partner, the mother or the bride ever knew the full story.  I only recall the bride’s reported comment that she especially liked the two little red hearts, hidden deep inside the handbag, to celebrate my wedding day. 

          Today, I continue to celebrate my pledge, my creed, my brand, and the many life lessons that come from our mistakes. 

            Wabi.  Perfection through spontaneous imperfection.

The Ties That Bind Us Together

2007 was a good year.  I was a partner with my law firm, our kids were both in college and I was participating in two groups that were beginning to stoke the artistic flames in my heart.  One group met weekly and we shared our creative writing efforts after completing a 12-week “Artist’s Way” course that was introduced by Julia Cameron by way of a book published by the same name.  The second group – the Material Girls - was all about fabric, sewing and quilting.   I was a newcomer to this world and I did not view myself as a quilter, but I continued to show up as we shared our “show and tell” projects over a glass of wine once a month.  

            

It was the Material Girls who urged me on as I made one of my first handbags, using four of my husband’s retired silk neckties.  The silk fabrics were rich in color, the contrasting paisley, stripe and diamond patterns complex.  Although petite, the handbag sported all of the features of a designer bag – double-stitched fabric handles, snap closure, a delightful stack of designer buttons and a fussy decorator trim across the front pocket that added flair and dimension.  

            

In 2007, I had become interested in a new Indianapolis nonprofit – Trusted Mentors – who provided volunteer mentors to assist individuals and families who were either homeless or otherwise at risk of losing the roof over their head.   As part of their fundraising efforts, a Trusted Mentors’ postcard invitation came in  my mail the same week that I finished the silk tie handbag.  The postcard announced an upcoming fundraiser, a handbag competition, to raise funds for the nonprofit’s mentor volunteer programs and I decided to enter my handbag for consideration, complete with a catchy application title, “The Ties That Bind Us Together.”

            

The competition was held in the Indianapolis Arts Garden at Circle Center Mall, just a few blocks from my law firm’s offices.  It was a Tuesday and I arrived during my lunch hour, joined by my law partners – Deb, Linda and Betsy – and my most dear administrative assistant, Linda.  I was in my usual lawyering uniform – business suit, pearls and those infamous “travel buff” stockings and black heels.   The Arts Garden was all a buzz and the 20+ handbag entries were on display and doing their very best to generate votes, supported by money contributions, both from the crowd and through the nonprofit’s online portal.  The three handbags that raised the most money would be recognized as winners at 1:00 p.m., the close of the competition.

            

Much to my surprise (and true elation), “The Ties That Bind Us Together” handbag won first place and raised almost $1,000 in support of Trusted Mentors.  The woman who contributed the most money “votes” in support of my handbag took it home, never to be seen by me again, although this first Wabi Creations was featured in a 2009 edition of Haute Handbags in recognition of the nonprofit’s handbag competition. 

            

Thirteen years later, I have used thousands of my Wabi Creations’ sew-in labels to adorn my many handbags.  Although hundreds were never finished or ended in the trash, there are a wealth of totes, cross body bags, clutches and other sweet little creations like the “Ties That Bind”  handbag out in the world today, helping us to celebrate, yet again, the incredible beauty in our lives.  Blessings abound indeed.

Click on the link below and check out this short YouTube video which introduces me, Wabi Creations and my studio where I am preparing for an upcoming handbag couture party, co-hosted with one of my clients for her family and friends, using Zoom technology.  The video shows many of my handbags - totes, clutches, cross body bags, and more.  For additional information, please contact me at seziel@gmail.com.

Click on the YouTube link below and watch the short video that introduces me, Wabi Creations and my studio where I am preparing to host an upcoming handbag couture party using Zoom technology. Interested? Let's talk.

https://youtu.be/AN9nQUvasyE

Wabi ... The Beginning of Wabi Creations

I still have my t-shirt in my bottom drawer  It is faded and shrunk from many washings.  It must be at least 25 years old. 

I was speaking at an American Health Lawyers convention in New Orleans.  It was 1993.  Following my presentation, my husband, Dan, and I found "Mike's on the Avenue" on the infamous St. Charles streetcar line for dinner.  Upon arrival at the restaurant, I was struck by the open space with white walls, trees with little white lights and black and white art everywhere.  We were seated and I quickly noticed that our waiter - and all of the other waiters - were wearing white, crisply starched shirts and brightly colored, art-designed silk ties which represented the only color to be seen in the entire dining room.  I was so taken with the design. 

Our menu was delightful, a fusion of Asian and Southwest cuisine, and we learned that the owner/chef, Michael Fennelly, once lived and studied in Japan.  He later returned to the United States and owned and served as head chef of the SantaCafe in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  Now, thank goodness, he was in New Orleans, crossing our paths.   

As dinner progressed, I noticed the tables were being serviced by men and women who were also uniformly dressed in black slacks and short sleeved t-shirts that had four bold, capitalized letters across the front - WABI.  I was curious to learn more about this odd collection of letters so I asked one of the servers the question and she promised to have "Mike" stop by our table before the end of our meal to explain.  I was intrigued. 

After dessert, we met "Mike" who stated that he was aware of my interest in the WABI t-shirts.  I held my breath as he began to tell his story of cooking and traveling and his introduction to Zen.  He also described how he came to appreciate and understand the true meaning of "Wabi" which, in his own words, meant "perfection through spontaneous imperfection." 

I left the restaurant that night with my WABI t-shirt and Michael Fennelly's cookbook, East Meets Southwest - Innovative Cuisine from Santa Cafe,   When I opened the cookbook later at our hotel, I noted that the Fennelly had handwritten his very own "Wabi - perfection through spontaneous imperfection" inscription inside the front cover.   It was then that I became truly connected to a new word, to a new concept, to a new principle of living, that would begin to weave my personal, professional and artistic endeavors together in a new way.  Yes, it was a moment of renewal and recreation for me. 

Today, the t-shirt holds a sacred place at the bottom of my fourth dresser drawer down.  The cookbook remains a part of my collection in the cabinet and most importantly, the term WABI now serves as the essence of my artistic business, Wabi Creations, LLC, through which I create handbags, wall and table art and other works that color our world.   

Over the years, through my work and practice in creating beauty, I continue to learn that our lives - whether as persons, professionals or artists - are filled with errors, mistakes, misgivings and other imperfections, all of which provide us with incredible learnings that can only make us that much more perfect at the end of the day.  For this, I am very thankful and yes, I continue to learn the importance of celebrating our imperfections everyday. 

WABI.  Wabi Creations.  Trust the journey.